Light in the Darkness

“...No, it is impossible; it is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch of one’s existence, - that which makes its truth, its meaning - its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible. We live, as we dream - alone...”

~ Joseph Conrad Heart of Darkness

We are what we have met. Every experience, every person leaves an imprint upon our heart that once left can never be removed. A child is pure, innocent, unmarked; however, with age comes pain and joy, memories that once etched can never be erased. Unfortunately, the unruly hand of fate plays a part in how we are shaped. A person has the ability to either enrich a life or slowly and painfully tear the pieces of life slowly away until the victim is left with a shell - an exterior self.

It is these people that have molded my perception of the world. The world, although a place of light, is also filled with impenetrable darkness that once seen can never be truly shaken. Because of this, when reading Conrad’s novella, I narrowed in on the utter darkness that Marlow repeatedly relays to his audience.

The passage I chose is spoken by Marlow in his frustration that no matter how passionate one retells their story, their life, it can never fully be grasped by the listener. A dream once retold loses much of the whimsical qualities experienced by the dreamer - a dream is never fully experienced with anyone but the dreamer. Much like this, life is lived with others, but is only truly experienced alone.

I don’t think that the interpretation of this passage has changed much since 1910. Although different eras, life’s interactions have not evolved exponentially. People are still impressionable, pain is still pain, and experiences once lived can never fully be recounted outside the prison that is the human mind, incessantly struggling to attain light in darkness.

Us and Them

"I turned to the wilderness really, not to Mr. Kurtz, who, I was ready to admit, was as good as buried. And for a moment it seemed to me as if I also was buried in a vast grave full of unspeakable secrets. I felt an intolerable weight oppressing my breast, the smell of the damp earth, the unseen presence of victorious corruption, the darkness of an impenetrable night."
- Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness

When reading the novel, I can certainly see where Conrad is coming from with the idea of the perpetual darkness at the core of man and nature. Not necessarily true evil, but the inability or lack of desire to understand another person or to form a sympathetic connection with an individual. Because the African people were not even seen as so much as people, the colonizers found no trouble in taking over them. Conrad attempted to show the British reader of 1910 the wrongs of colonization. That reader’s context comes from a place of having experienced the times of the African colonization. The British reader of 1910 views the passage with a greater experience of colonization than I do, so Conrad’s message could’ve had a more applicable, straightforward effect to them. They could see the above passage as expressing the evil of colonization, but my context of the story is different. Although I can see the point of the Imperialism stuff, I can’t exactly apply it so easily to my situation.

Since I have been a bit of an outcast throughout life, I naturally relate the passage to modern society. I look all around and see Conrad’s “victorious corruption” in the hearts of so many, not only in the politicians and bigwigs, but also the people I see around me every day. I feel like the lack of desire to understand another permeates society. Through reading the story, I see myself and others that have been discounted for this or that. I see people attempting to “colonize” the differences of others.

I would say that it is extremely difficult to explain the exact context through which anyone views the world. My current perception has been molded by not only every single experience of my lifetime, but also by some amount of inherited personality. It’s hard to say, “Those people saw it that way, and people here and now see it this way.”

BRIGHT, SUNNY, & HAPPY vs. dark, night, & depression

Which one makes you feel better? BRIGHT(happiness) or DARK (depression)??

Throughout my life, i have been give many opportunities. So, I always have been mainly a bright, happy person. I read the world and question, " why isn't everyone happy and positive?" Now don't get me wrong, I know there is turmoil in the world, and many negative aspects of life. By why not thrive on the positive things around you? There has to be AT LEAST one positive thing going on around you, even if it doesn't directly involve you. Some examples are someone smiling, singing, or even the sun just shining.

My look on life made me question Conrad's novel harshly. I did not understand or like the fact he always emphasized on the "darkness." The passage I'm going to focus on is every single paragraph that involves the one word- "darkness." Although it was mentioned about a trillion times in the book, that one word always had the same effect on me. the effect it had on me was sadness, and depression. The rest of the real, common interpretations of this word would probably be ignorance, or the savages being in the "dark" of what was really occurring in the society. For some reason, I could not get passed the sadness I felt EVERY time Conrad used that word. Since I was raised in a happy, bright environment, I cannot help but be taken aback by the word "darkness."

BE HAPPY GUYS AND SMILE :) you might make someone else's day better.

Colorful "Context" Lenses

"But there was in it one river especially, a might big river, that you could see on the map, resembling an immense snake uncoiled, with its head in the sea, its body at rest curving afar over a vast country, and its tail lost in the depths of the land. " -Marlow, Heart of Darkness

With the many years since this books release, the mystery in the Congo has lessened a considerable degree, thanks in much part to people like Marlow. However, that leads to a change in the context of this passage. Hindsight being what it is, it is easy to look back and think that those pioneers were just superstitious and that really just wanted to stay home and be comfortable. Whereas people might have seen this passage as a deep and thought provoking statement when the book came out, I see it as more of an old mans fears of the unknown being something he is now intimately familiar with.

Something is only a mystery as long as people decide that they would rather not know anything about it. When someone finally moves towards the unknown they are seen as foolish. Thanks to these fools humans found the Americas after years of thinking that there was nothing there, we have discovered the power of flight, and we have generally been the inquisitive creatures that we have been made to be. With the many years of such things, my lenses are scientific in nature, lending to a disbelief in the mystery a river could hold. This detracts from the statements power and the foreshadowing that it implies.

This science lens affects more than just a story and its context. It lends itself in may ways to how I act to MOST things, though not all.

When Heart of Darkness was published, the Congo was being discovered and people still thought of Africa and its inhabitants and savage and in dire need of taming and domestication. The land and the ivory were worth than the people who rightfully owned the land. People who read this passage might have thought, "Conrad is quite ahead of his time. All those extra adjectives aren't a bore at all!" I'm sure that this was a very ominous thing to say and it lended an atmosphere of anticipation that made the reader want to continue with his exploration of the land with Marlow.

Being biased as I am (there's no other word or it) takes away the wow factor any older books might have had on people who read those same books at my age one hundred years ago, and it usually tends to ruin the story for me as well. Without that sense of amazement, the enjoyment such a book could give me is minimal. Those extra adjective don't help either.

Southern WoMentality

Perhaps the most famous Southern woman of all texts, Scarlett O'Hara of Gone With the Wind

My lens on the world would have to be my South

ern upbringing. Born and raised in a small, close-knit, Cajun town in southern Louisiana, I have learned the traditions of a Southern Woman. This mainly has to deal with how I interact with other people, regardless of their upbringing. I have always been taught to say “Yes, Mam” and “No, Sir” to anyone older than me and that it is the woman’s responsibility to cook, clean, and look like you love doing it. My southern roots almost force me to greet everyone I see out of habit. I guess I see the world through quixotic approach rather than a cynical one, but as time goes on and I learn more about others in the world and myself, I find myself being able to see better both sides of spectrum.

This affects how I see Conrad’s novel because in some ways I can relate to how the women in the novel are seen as in an illusion of the world. Sometimes I like to (idealistically) think that the world is a good place rather than a bad place, although history provides a strong counterargument.

“It’s queer how out of touch with truth women are! They live in a world of their own, and there had never been anything like it, and never can be. It is too beautiful altogether, and if they were to set it up it would go to pieces before the first sunset.”

This passage is different now than a 1910 approach because after years of struggling for women’s rights, there have been strong gains for feminists. However, I still feel like there are some women that would rather have their blinders on and bake cookies all day. That doesn’t mean they are stupid or anything like that, I think that some women are fainter of heart than others to make a stand against the ego of the male-dominant parts of society. Now I’m not exactly sure where I fall in this subject. I like to think somewhere in the middle, leaning towards learning about the world in order to have informed opinions and an objective outlook on life. But I must admit that sometimes it would be easier to block out the bad things in the world.